Posted by
Playful Walrus on Thursday, February 28, 2008 12:58:53 PM
Yet more reason some men are on a marriage strike. Here’s something from Dear Abby that caught my eye. IN A TIZZY IN OKLAHOMA CITY wrote in:
My fiance bought a ring and necklace for me for Valentine's Day.
That was extremely generous of him. Legally, in most places, that would mean they are unconditional gifts that you will be able to keep even if you dump him tomorrow. If they were given on some random day, the ring (which we'll read below is for the wedding), at least, would be conditional in the sense that if you dumped him instead of marrying him, he could get it back.
The ring was to be a wedding ring. Both are yellow gold, which is something I have never worn, nor do I care to.
What’s wrong with yellow gold?
The first ring he selected was white gold. Then he decided that with the yellow gold, he would get "more bang for his buck."
Sounds like a smart man. Is there a problem with that?
A friend of ours, "Diana," went with him and told me the story. I told Diana I'm thinking of asking him to return the items and have the two of us look for a white gold set.
How ungrateful are you? Yes, let this guy return the items and get his money back. Then he should dump you and run as fast as he can in the other direction, so he can find a woman who appreciates him and his gifts.
Her response? "You'd better shut up and wear them. He may send you packing if you hurt his feelings."
Diana is more your friend than his. She’s trying to keep you from getting dumped.
Dear Abby responds:
I'm guessing your boyfriend took Diana to help with the selection because he thought she'd know what you like. Frankly, he took the wrong girl. He should have taken you.
WRONG WRONG WRONG! If he took her, he would have ended up spending too much money. What other gifts do you know of where the purchaser routinely takes the recipient along for the shopping? Do like my wife did. When it looks like a proposal is in order, tell him, in general, what you prefer, and let him pick it out.
If Diana is truly a friend, she should tell him she "forgot" that you have a strong preference for white gold and suggest the two of you exchange the set for something you might like better.
You can usually count on Dear Abby to come down on the side of men spending more money on women.
The most practical way to choose wedding/engagement rings is for the man to talk to a jeweler in advance about what he can afford to pay and ask that a selection of rings in his price range be put aside for him and his girlfriend when he brings her in.
Hey how about she pay for it and buy it in the first place? Women have full earning and property rights now, after all.
Notice we don’t read what she got him to Valentine’s Day.
Anyway, this guy should move on and find a woman who is less work.