Posted by
Playful Walrus on Thursday, March 06, 2008 12:42:21 PM
AP writer David Crary has this story, and the headline is “Men Who Do Housework May Get More Sex”. Notice the “may” qualifier. That sounds like a headline written by a lazy woman using weasel words.
American men still don't pull their weight when it comes to housework and child care, but collectively they're not the slackers they used to be.
Isn’t it nice to be broadbrushed like that? “American men”. Well I have news for you. Do a search, and you can find plenty of things written about “American women” as a group that aren’t all that flattering.
“Pull their weight”. Hmm. What does that really mean? Most women marry men who earn more than they do – most of those women insisted on that. So when you talk about “pulling weight”, be prepared to have finances discussed, too.
"Slackers"? Going out and bringing home the bacon is the same as being a slacker?
The average dad has gradually been getting better about picking himself up off the sofa and pitching in, according to a new report in which a psychologist suggests the payoff for doing more chores could be more sex.
“Could be”. Not likely, if she realizes that you’re a complete wimp who will slave away on the job to pay for her habits, AND you’ll do the housework. She’ll know she can refrain from sex and you’ll foolishly work all the much harder to please her, because you haven’t figured out that you picked the wrong woman.
The report, released Thursday by the Council on Contemporary Families, summarizes several recent studies on family dynamics. One found that men's contribution to housework had doubled over the past four decades; another found they tripled the time spent on child care over that span.
I wonder what “contemporary” means in this case? My wife takes care of our place and our child. Are we not contemporary?
Perhaps the increase in “housework” and “child care” by men is a result of an increase in a sense of entitlement and laziness on the part of some women? I mean, someone has to do it, right?
"More couples are sharing family tasks than ever before, and the movement toward sharing has been especially significant for full-time dual-earner couples," the report says.
Well duh. If they are both working full-time, then of course they are both going to do the housework. Child care? That’s another story. You can’t care for a child if you’re not there. But still, since women expect their man to earn more than they do, they should expect to do more around the house.
"We'll both talk about how we're so lucky to have someone who does more than their share," said Mary Melchoir, a Washington-based fundraiser for the National Organization for Women, who — like her lawyer husband — works full-time while raising 6-year-old triplets.
NOW. What a surprise. Why have the kids if you don’t want to raise them? No, you’re not raising them if you’re never there.
Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco-area psychologist and author of "The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework," said equitable sharing of housework can lead to a happier marriage and more frequent sex.
“Can” Love that qualifier. You know what else can lead to a happier and marriage and more frequent sex? Marrying the right woman. I'm very wary of anyone based in San Francisco when it comes to their authority on gender roles.
"If a guy does housework, it looks to the woman like he really cares about her — he's not treating her like a servant," said Coleman, who is affiliated with the Council on Contemporary Families.
If she can’t figure he really cares about her by the fact that he gave up complete control of his earnings and access to casual sex with a variety of women to slave away for all those years on the job, destined to die before she does, then nothing will please her.
Sullivan and Coltrane predict men's contributions will increase further as more women take jobs.
"Men share more family work if their female partners are employed more hours, earn more money and have spent more years in education," they said.
Duh! It’s called “division of labor”.
The report's overall findings meshed with what Carol Evans, founder and CEO of Working Mother magazine, has been observing as she tracks America's two-income couples.
That’s a rag.
Here’s the deal: Men and women are different. Get used to it. Most people grasp this reality by the time they can walk. In most cases, it is the man’s job to be the breadwinner, to protect his wife and children, to make sure the automobiles are taken care of, to make sure things get fixed around the house and the lawn gets mowed, to investigate noises in the night, to deal with scary bugs, to move heavy objects, to reach high places, to open tight jars, to take out the trash. It is the woman’s job to take care of housekeeping and be the primary person dealing with the children – they grow in her womb and nurse at her breast, after all If you’re going to be “equal” in the identical sense, why even get married or shack up? You’re redundant. And if you’re not going to raise your kids yourself, DON’T HAVE ANY.
And sex is supposed to be mutually enjoyable, not a bargaining chip. If you don’t want to have sex, don’t get married.