Posted by
Playful Walrus on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 3:39:06 PM
In his latest column, Dennis Prager partially answers the question “Why are so many women depressed?” There’s more to come in a later column, but he’s right about the cause he discusses in this edition - the lie that most women can be happy, successful, and fulfilled at being a full-time career woman while raising children and maintaining a home. It would be extremely difficult for anyone to do those all well simultaneously. Women who’ve bought into the notion that they can are going to be depressed when they discover otherwise.
Prager is right about the differences between how a man is identified by his career vs. how a woman is identified by her career. When a woman tells her girlfriends, coworkers, or family that she has met a new man, one of the first questions asked, if not answered in her announcement, is “What does he do [for a living]?” This is because women are interested in and more highly value as partners men with money or power (which is supposed to translates into some semblance of “security” in providing), and because men are largely identified by their profession.
When guys tell each other about a woman, they almost never talk about what she does for a living, unless it implies that she is beautiful (model, actress, etc.) or it is considered a “sexy” feminine profession ( like a nurse).
Also, more real choices also means more decisions to make, more responsibility to take, and more ways to fall short or find out that something doesn’t suit you. Women often find that they aren’t happy in their jobs. But guess what? A lot of men aren’t, either, and are stuck in their jobs because they have financial obligations to their wives and children and need to keep providing them with insurance.
Then there area women who operate under the delusion that she can marry any man who is successful and mold him to her liking, or even a man who isn’t successful and nag him into success. They think that they can neglect him, disrespect him, be cold to him, be cruel to him, and disregard his feelings about her appearance (what she wears, how she keeps her hair, whether or not she stays in shape) and he’s just going to still do everything she needs and wants, be a happy and devoted husband, and he will not act out in any way.
Some women blame their man for their depression. Everyone is responsible for their own feelings. But if you think your man is depressing you, consider that you picked him. Did you choose poorly? Are you treating him unkindly? You have the power to choose wisely and, if you do, create an uplifting relationship.
Just a few thoughts on the subject.