Posted by
Playful Walrus on Thursday, March 13, 2008 3:13:19 PM
Only the worst loser freaks don't have girlfriends or boyfriends in high school, and boys should spend $$$ on the Prom.
There's nothing wrong with fornication and very rarely are there ever negative consequences.
If a relationship ends, you should be in a new one by the end of the same day; there is nothing emotionally unhealthy about this.
Gay people are all funny, witty, and very rarely do anything seriously wrong.
Violence against men is funny. Unless it is violence against a gay man, which is wrong – unless it is consensual violence committed by another gay man.
If a husband cheats, it's because he's a louse who can't control his natural biological urges and in no way is it his wife's fault. If a wife cheats, it is because her husband neglected her, mistreated her, or didn't give her enough attention; it’s not even really cheating if her “lover” is really romantic.
The more money a man spends buying impractical gifts (like jewelry) for a woman, the more he loves her.
You should get your own television show if a private, amateur video of you fornicating hits the World Wide Web.
Babies are cute and fun and not a lot of work - life pretty much continues as it did before you had the baby.
Marriage is a game.
There's nothing wrong with underage drinking.
It's fine to go on national television and tell the world about your deepest personal secrets, feelings, sins, problems, and mistakes - bringing shame, scorn, ridicule, or embarrassment to your spouse and family, as long as you are telling the truth and doing it for money.
Come to think of it, it's okay to pretty much do anything you want, with the following exceptions: anything you've pointed out as wrong to someone else (it's okay as long as you kept your mouth shut); something that "pollutes"; declaring anything anyone else does as wrong, unless that other person was "judging" - then it was okay to tell them it is wrong to judge.