Posted by
Playful Walrus on Thursday, August 21, 2008 1:18:23 PM
Going after that ever-important fraction of the 1% of the population that will undergo some form of homosexual “commitment ceremony”, Hallmark sees fit to mock marriage and dishonor brides and grooms. Sarah Skidmore, Associated Press business writer, has the story.
The nation's largest greeting card company is rolling out same-sex wedding cards - featuring two tuxedos, overlapping hearts or intertwined flowers, with best wishes inside. "Two hearts. One promise," one says.
Think of that the next time you are buying card.
The language inside the cards is neutral, with no mention of wedding or marriage, making them also suitable for a commitment ceremony.
Gee, why not just have a card that says “For the one or more for whom I have some sort of feelings or to whom I am attracted on some level… I promise to do what I feel like doing.”?
Hallmark says the move is a response to consumer demand, not any political pressure.
They are counting on the minimal demand for these cards offsetting any loss of business from those of us who understand that marriage unites the sexes and don't appreciate those who are mocking marriage.
"It's our goal to be as relevant as possible to as many people as we can," Hallmark spokeswoman Sarah Gronberg Kolell said.
Oh good. Well, then, I’ll be expecting to see Hallmark sell cards that say, "Congratulations on becoming one of his wives." or “Hey, I actually enjoyed ‘playing doctor’ with you, my sibling. I turned out okay and so did you.” Or how about, “I really enjoy having sex with you and I want you to move in, but we will never get married because I don’t see the point of signing away half of everything I’ll ever earn.”? I won’t hold my breath.
Hallmark's largest competitor, American Greetings Corp., has no plans to enter the market, saying its current offerings are general enough to speak to a lot of different relationships.
Now here’s an interesting complaint…
"When I have shopped for situations like babies or weddings for gay friends I have good luck in quirky stores," said Kathryn Hamm, president of the Web site gayweddings.com.
"But if you are just in a generic store ... the bride and groom symbol or words are in most cards," she said. "It becomes difficult to find some that are neutral but have some style."
Imagine that! Wedding cards that mention brides and grooms! Oh, how could businesses be so bigoted?
The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law estimates that more than 85,000 same-sex couples in the United States have entered into a legal relationship since 1997, when Hawaii started offering some legal benefits to same-sex partners.
It estimates nearly 120,000 more couples will marry in California during the next three years — and that means millions of potential dollars for all sorts of wedding-industry businesses.
Meanwhile, how many bride-groom marriages have their been in that timeframe by comparison? But we have to pretend there is no difference and cater to the tiny minority that doesn’t want to play by the existing rules. (We can throw out Britney Spears’ weddings… we’ll still have millions of marriages.)
Hallmark, known more for its Midwest mores than progressive greetings, has added a wider variety lately. It now offers cards for difficulty getting pregnant or going through rehab.
How about, “You know, you’d never have had to go to rehab if you had never taken that first snort.” The pregnancy one could also cater to same-sex couples. I’m thinking, “You know, science and history show it might help if you involved someone of the opposite sex.”
It pulled a controversial card that featured the word "q---r" in the punch line after it was criticized by some customers and gay magazine The Advocate last year.
Yes, that’s like the “n” word. Only black people can use the “n” word, you see. Homosexual men can joke all of the time about liking show tunes, but the moment a straight person who believes in bride-groom marriage licensing jokes about that, it is supposed to be unacceptably stereotyping and will cause homosexuals to be beaten in the street… or so they claim. Go figure.
At any given time, Hallmark has 200 different wedding cards on the market, including some catering to interracial or inter-religious marriages and blended families.
“Inter-religious”? How about, “Why are you even bothering to involve clergy? If you took religion that seriously, you’d be marrying someone of the same faith.” Don’t think that’s one of them. As for the “interracial” (a term I don’t like because I believe human beings are all one race), how about, “Remember – according to the judges, marrying her is just like marrying a guy – because her skin tone is different than yours.”
The story goes on to talk about how some businesses are hesitant because they don’t want to be stuck with “marriage” merchandise if Proposition 8 passes. That’s the mentality – it only exists if the state says so. Guess what? Marriage existed long before the State of California. And same-sex couples have been having “weddings” for years. So stop acting like the world is going to fall apart of Prop 8 passes. Proposition 8 won’t hurt anyone.
Finally, let me say that Hallmark should have every right to sell these cards. And we all have the right not to buy Hallmark products or invest in Hallmark.