Posted by
Playful Walrus on Tuesday, May 19, 2009 2:36:02 PM
It's been a while since I've called attention to men who are not content to be punching bags/ATMs/sperm donors for irresponsible women and male-hating feminists, or who simply aren't willing to be the "nice" guy who pays a woman's way through life as she cavorts with bad boys or tries to find herself in a career.
These men are reacting to modern feminism and big government – and those two things are related, there's no doubt about it. They reject the idea that a man should fulfill traditional roles and meet traditional obligations and expectations while dealing with women who reject their traditional obligations.
These men are aware that most of the MSM, academia, religious organizations, and the workplace are geared towards the sensitivities of women, and often hostile to men, boys, and masculinity. They are aware that laws, government policies, and courtrooms more often favor women at the expense of men (and children).
Some of these men are godless hedonists, who revel in easy access to fornication that many women now provide outside of any obligation. Others are devoted followers of Christ who believe that sex is for marriage. Some fall into some other category. Most of them, though, are fed up with female dependency on their tax dollars, with women who continue to birth kids out of wedlock, paternity fraud, the child support system wrongfully burdening innocent men, and double standards in sexual harassment and domestic violence issues.
They reject a system and a culture in which a woman can get away with killing their children; in which a woman can all too easily prevent a father from seeing his own children; in which there is a high divorce rate and women are far more likely to file for divorce; in which pre-nup clauses agreed to by an adult woman being represented by an attorney can be dismissed by a judge; in which a wife can discourage and sabotage her husband's career advancement and still claim half of what he earns; in which she can commit adultery, give birth to another man's child, divorce her husband, shack up with her lover, and exact both alimony (for life!) and child support (for her lover's child) from her ex-husband, and get that child support amount increased if her ex-husband remarries.
Whether they call themselves Men's (or Father's) Rights Advocates, marriage strikers, Men Going Their Own Way, or whatever, they are fed up. It is wrong (but all too easy) to dismiss all of them as women-haters. While there are some bloggers out there who are the male equivalent of man-hating feminist extremists – with both sides seeing the other sex as inherently the enemy - there are men out there (some married, some fathers, some not) who generally enjoy women and appreciate femininity, but have legitimate concerns about today's world. Others are simply men who enjoy living alone and don't want to be punished or attacked for doing do.
Disclaimers:
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- I certainly don’t agree with everything these guys say, how they say it. There is a broad spectrum of expression in these areas.
- I don't excuse men for their dependency on government, their sins, or their mistreatment of women, nor do I excuse a man if he picks the wrong woman. But I also do not blame a man for what a woman does.
- I like that women have real choices in their lives and do not think that ALL women should get married, stay home, make babies, and handle all domestic chores.
- If you're a guy who got married 40+ years ago and is still happily married (congrats to you), this stuff may be foreign to you or you might not relate to it. But ask your sons, grandsons, nephews, younger male coworkers, or other young men about the women they are encountering, and the cultural environment when it comes to gender relations and gender politics. Shifts in the law, economy, and culture in general, while they have made things much easier for guys who just want casual sex, have made it much more difficult for a man who wants a lasting, happy marriage to find the right woman to join him in that goal, and to stick to it.
We owe it to our sons and daughters to inform them of today's realities, and to assess and address the issues as they are today.
One excellent site is Biblical Manhood. You can get where that guy is coming from by reading his three part series (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3), his New Gender Deal, and his disclaimer about his view of women. Also of note: Cultural Conservatives and the Religious Establishment Do Not Care About Men. (UPDATE: Biblical Manhood has been mothballed as of the end of February 2010. Hopefully, the links will remain active.)
Other sites of interest (again, I don't necessarily agree with their tone or all of their positions):
Glenn Sacks (a real pro)
The Elusive Wapiti
Triton Unleashed (UPDATE: This blog has been removed.)
The Hawaiian Libertarian
Marriage Strike Central
Men Going Their Own Way
Marky Mark's Thoughts
Related content on The Playful Walrus:
Women Have Encouraged the Child-Man
Toxic Bachelors
Marriage Strike