Posted by
Playful Walrus on Friday, January 28, 2011 10:49:12 PM
You've probably heard about "8 Simple Rules
For Dating My Teenage Daughter" - the book by W. Bruce Cameron and the sitcom.
Well, here are 8 Simple Rules For Dating as Adults, (with thanks
to Dr. Laura). Although I'm happily married, I have family and friends who are
unmarried, some of whom are looking for a spouse. So I think about stuff like
this.
1. Figure out why you are dating (free or shared
entertainment/dinner, sex, casual companionship, appearances,
social/familial/professional status or advancement, to find a roommate, to find
a spouse) - and seek someone compatible with you who will meet that
need.
2. "No", "don't", or "stop" means "no", "don’t",
or "stop", despite where you are and what the other person is or isn't
wearing or doing, but going certain places and doing certain things
does place someone more at risk for rape, assault, or sex that they
later regret and is therefore stupid, even though it doesn't excuse the actions
of the other person.
3. Accept the person you date "as-is". Do not expect the person to get any better or any more
compatible with you and what you are looking for than they are now. If
you discover that the person doesn't meet your needs or has a red flag, stop
dating them. Do not nag, whine, pout, beg, plead, demand, cajole,
pressure, or wait any longer. By dating you are figuring out if this person is
right for you, not trying to change them.
4. Marriage prospects
are usually no younger than 25 and do not have any minor children. Parents of minor children should be focusing on their kids, kids who already have to deal with a broken home.
5. Marriage prospects meet each others' friends and
family after an appropriate amount of time, and spend a lot of time with each
other, but do not shack up or fornicate. Fornicating or shacking up is
for people who do not want to get married and stay married.
6.
Marriage prospects get engaged after about 18-30 months, not three
months, not five years of going steady. "Engagement" means a ring and a date,
and is only entered into by people who are reasonably sure they want to marry
each other and can stay married to each other. No ring means being able to date
other people. There is no moving to another city or state for someone to whom you are not engaged or
married.
7. If you are a man who wants children, do not propose
to or date a woman who will not either stay home to raise them or happily
support you as you stay home to raise them. If you are a woman who wants
children, do not accept a proposal from or date a man who will not either
happily support you as you stay home to raise them or will stay home to raise
them himself with your respect.
8. Communication
that happens while you are apart, through an electronic device, does not replace
or count as face-to-face time together.
(This is essentially a repost.)