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How To Get a Leftist to Support Gun Ownership

1. Come up with an abortion procedure that involves guns.

2. Come up with sex play that involves guns. Phil Spector seemed to be into something like that.

The Left would be clamoring to get guns into the hands of public school students and to teach them about using guns - all the different ways they could be used, and how to use them safely, and where the students could go to get medical treatment should they have an accident, without their parents knowing.


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Praise for The Los Angeles Times

I frequently criticize The Los Angeles Times in my blog postings, and often disagree strongly with the editorial board. But I do have some praise for them in this specific case. They have a blog called Top of the Ticket, billed as "Politics and commentary, coast to coast, from the Los Angeles Times". One of the two bloggers is Andrew Malcolm. In addition to informative, I find his entries to be entertaining.  Adding to the fun are some of the comments by readers after certain entries. Most of the comments indicate that the people commenting have completely missed the tone of Mr. Malcom's blog entry. Conservative who do so blast his entries as Leftist and typical of the MSM, though the entries are anything but typical for site like LATimes.com. Leftists who don't get it call him "dumb" and try to enlighten him. It's great stuff, and you should check it out, especially if you like satire, parody, irony, and sarcasm.

Of course, now that I've posted this, the blog will probably fold.
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Things To Which I'm Looking Forward Under Obamacare

1. Having the moral authority to tell more people I don't know how to live, and backing it up with law enforcement. After all, if I am paying for their health care under the threat of my own prosecution, I damn well have the moral authority - even obligation - to cajole them into leading healthy lives to reduce costs. Hey, the Constitution doesn't really matter – that's what I've heard from Obamacare supporters. All that matters is political might. Leftists imagine this will give them the power to go after meat eating and tobacco, and force those "fundies" to vaccinate their 12-year-old girls against STDs, ...but won't crimp their own pot smoking or unhealthy sexual practices like sleeping around, for example. But hey, they're all for equality of outcomes, right? And if a Leftist in power can impose his own will on everyone with government force, then equality demands that so can a Right-winger when he is in power – that’s equality of election outcomes. I'll be watching to see who is drinking too many appletinis. They'll be going to the end of the line for liver transplants.

2. Being able to force insurance agencies to cover me with pre-existing conditions. This means I can crash my car and burn down my house and subsequently get insurance on those things! And I can take out life insurances policy on my dead relatives, then send in death notices.

3. Quitting my jobs. Hey, if on top of free-to-me entertainment, recreation, education, housing, food, transportation, I can also get government-mandated free-to-me routine and emergency medical care on the level anyone else gets, why should I work? I should be spending time with my family, letting all of the working suckers pay our way through life.

This is going to be great!
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Another Voice for Equality

After carefully considering the arguments, I am coming out at as voice for equality. We can't have second class citizens, after all, and discriminate against a historically oppressed minority. Why should anyone else be able to tell someone else how to live, or make others conform to their narrow views? The people who oppose this equality are doing so because of their church has told them to. Jesus never said anything about this, though. These people are our friends, our neighbors, or family, our coworkers, and they pay taxes.  I explain myself more over at The Opine Editorials.

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Harvey Milk Day

My suggested public school curriculum for California's newly-adopted Harvey Milk Day is over at The Opine Editorials.
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Playful Walrus Update

I apologize for my lack of blogging yesterday. I celebrated Columbus Day by going to an Indian gaming casino with a Leftist friend, who was busy enjoying tobacco while explaining to me how evil Columbus was. Meanwhile, this person thinks we don't need a strong immigration/naturalization policy. Go figure.

I suppose when people blame Columbus for bringing disease to the natives, we should ask why the natives didn't recognize that Columbus, as an illegal alien, had a right to free health care on the dime of the natives? Those natives should have cured the Europeans of their diseases.

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Engineering Poisons Everything

It is time people get with the twenty-first century and leave engineering behind.  I say this for many reasons.
  • Engineering is a scam.  Engineering firms are always asking for money.  Engineers want to get paid.  They just want your money!  Many of them are hypocrites.  There have been engineers who have molested children and slept around.  Some engineers on TV look funny.
  • Engineering is restrictive.  We should be free to do things the way we want.  I don't need some engineering book to tell me how to do things.  Besides, different people have different interpretations of those books.  They can mean anything!  Every engineer thinks he or she is right.
  • Engineering is old and started a long time ago.  We all know that old things shouldn't tell us how to live our lives.
  • Errors have been found in engineering documents.
  • Engineering is used to wage wars.  Every modern war has used engineering to kill a lot of people.
  • Engineering has been used to create nuclear, chemical, and biological weopons.
  • Engineering has been used to create unsound structures, killing and maiming people.
  • Engineering has been used to enslave people.
  • Engineer parents have disowned their children who weren't in to engineering.
  • Engineering firms all think they are better than other engineering firms.
  • Engineering firms have been male-dominated for a long time.
  • Engineering is a crutch.
  • Don't use engineering to tell me what I can and can't do.
  • Plenty of people live happy lives without engineering.
  • Without engineering, we wouldn’t have large prisons.
For those of you who say that engineering has been used to do a lot of good things – what, you wouldn't do good things without engineering?
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Terrorists Still Murdering People in Iraq Despite Obama Being President

I thought electing Obama was supposed to make mass murder in Iraq by terrorists a thing of the past.  And yet, it is still going on.  Wow, that Bush is so powerful he's still coordinating terrorism to excuse his warmongering even though he is no longer President.  Why doesn't Obama put a stop to all of this, like we were told he would?
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Taliban Still Murdering Despite Obama Being President

I thought electing Obama was supposed to make mass murder by the Taliban a thing of the past.  And yet, it is still going on.  Wow, that Bush is so powerful he's still coordinating terrorism to excuse his warmongering even though he is no longer President.  Why doesn’t Obama put a stop to all of this, like we were told he would?

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From The Inbox

BHO COURIER SERVICE,
KENYA
21th-1-2009.

Dear Customer!
SHIPMENT CODE: USA/1776/07/04
PARCEL #: POTUS44

We have been waiting for you to contact us regarding the delivery of your package to you. We assumed that our contact details were given to you by CNN, DNC, OR AFL-CIO.  The content of your package itself is an inexperienced but charismatic community organizer and a blowhard, gaffe-prone Senator.

The package should have arrived yesterday.

If you want to return this package, you will have to pay a sum of ($100,000,000.00USD) to the RNC Delivery Department being full payment for the Security Keeping Fee of the organization as stated in our privacy terms & condition page.

Kindly note that the DNC did not leave us with any further information.  We hope that you respond to us as soon as possible because if you fail to respond before the expiry date we may refer the matter to the Kenyan Commission for Welfare as the package will be your responsibility for at least four years.

Please respond to us with the following information:

Receipt of package: YES/NO
Full Name:
Contact Address:
Country:
State:
City:
Sex:
Occupation:
Mobile/Fax No:
Social Security Number:
Mother’s Maiden Name:

As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will give you the necessary payment procedure so that you can effect the payment for the Security Keeping Fees and hence the satisfaction of your obligations.

Kindly note that if the contents of the package are not managed correctly, high expenses will likely be incurred, as well as irreparable harm to your residence.  Mindless zombies may be attracted to the package, which has a component that is clean and black.

Yours Faithfully,

Mrs. Asari Victor.
Online Admin Team.
Tel:+234-709-3073-270
p.hocken@inode.at
admin@fedex-ng.at.tt


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What About Their Civil Rights?

I’m going to apply what I've learned over much of the past few years, especially the last year, to the sordid accusations against Alton Smith Jr., Tina Marie Smith, and Kristilyn Smith of Palm Coast, Florida. Alton is married to Tina, and Kistilyn is Alton's adult daughter.  She has a 7-year-old autistic son.  Remember that everyone is to be considered innocent until pronounced guilty by a court of law.  Be forewarned – you might find this information disturbing... but only because you are a bigot and a closet case who secretly wants to do all of this stuff, too.

Here are the basics.  Kristilyn was arrested for prostitution.  A subsequent investigation led the authorities to charge her father and stepmother (with whom she lives) with multiple counts related to child pornography and child molestation, as they allegedly have pictures and video from the last ten years of children as young as 8 posing and engaging in sex acts with each other and themselves (Alton and Tina Maria).

This article states that prosecutors said Kristilyn's son was fathered by her father, Alton.

Kristilyn has been arrested and charged for incest with her father.  Her father has also been charged with that crime.
According to a news release, witnesses told investigators that Kristilyn Smith had sex with her 46-year-old father in August 2008 at the family’s Carlos Court home in Palm Coast.
Who are these witnesses?  And it is plural.  Do you mean to tell me that more than one person claims to have been standing in the room while this guy and his adult daughter did this?  Are these witnesses now writing a script for Law & Order: SVU?
The images were discovered during an investigation into a prostitution ring that investigators said Kristilyn Smith ran out of the home.
Now hold on a minute.  "Consenting adults” and all of that.  She wasn’t cluttering up a sidewalk somewhere.  Is she not allowed to run a home business?  Using the whole civil rights and the insistence that there must always be warrants and they must be only for serious and dangerous offenses, and we know from what so many people say that prostitution doesn't hurt anyone, all the evidence about the other "crimes" should be thrown out.

For what it is worth, a defense attorney, taking a cue from Connie Chung's husband, says that the Alton is not the biological father of the autistic kid – that the biological father's whereabouts are unknown.  That’s a hard story to swallow.  I mean, what guy would flee a situation like that?  Or was he just a casual customer?

But let's get back to what we've learned thanks to our enlightened friends.
  • "Love is love".  I want to see demonstrations in the streets calling for the dismissal of the incest charges against the father and daughter, who is an adult.  Leave them alone.  How does their relationship hurt you?  I'm sure there are studies and experts out there who will say there is no harm to kids in these situations.  They haven't asked for a marriage license, but as we all know, there is a right to a state-issued marriage license, so if they ask they must be given one.  (By all means, keep the child molestation charges in place.  Drop the ones about the child porn, though – after all, we don't have proof that these people aren't highly talented animators who created virtual images.)
  • If there was incest and prostitution, that is in no way related to the child molestation and pornography.  They are entirely separate issues, because some child molesters don't engage in incest or prostitution.  They shouldn't even be mentioned in the same articles.
  • If the prosecutors are right about the conception of the child, well, that's just a matter of "reproductive rights".  After all, how can someone believe in reproductive rights, including abortion and a right to IVF, and say that doesn't apply to a woman choosing to reproduce with the person she loves?  Who are you to say anything about her sexual orientation?
  • If the child has autism, well, that's not an indication that the child was harmed as a result of the circumstances of his conception.  We all know that autism is caused by vaccines and fluoride in the water, and as I'm sure John Edwards can argue, the doctor who delivers the babies.
  • If any of this disgusts you, you are simply a bigot.  After all, interracial marriage was once considered disgusting by some people.
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Defending Your Support of Prop 8

Are you being criticized for your support of Prop 8?  Maybe friends, family, bosses, customers, coworkers, social networking contacts, bloggers, and commenters have lashed out and you or pressured you?  Maybe you have received angry calls from strangers that you perceived as threatening bodily harm to you, but in retrospect, you realize that the person calling you willingly subjects himself to the described treatment for jollies?

Well, I think I have a solution.

Feel free to copy and paste this defense I am providing below.  You don’t even have to give me credit.  Just be sure to modify it so your critic's name appears in the salutation.  Modify as necessary to be relevant to your circumstances.

============
Dear [insert name of your critic here],

I know you are upset with me.  Perhaps I can get you to understand why I supported Prop 8.

You see, from an early age, I have felt something deep inside me.  I knew I was different from a lot of other kids around me.  I thought maybe I was the only one who had these feelings.  I felt shame and self-loathing.

But as I got older, I found out that I wasn’t the only one.

You see, I am sexually attracted to supporting marriage amendments.


Now, I thought maybe I just needed the right experience with judicial tyranny.  That if I had a good experience with judicial tyranny, I could live happily ever after with letting judges tell me what to do, changing the meaning of words, invalidating my vote, and making me give things to other people even though I don’t want to.

But I couldn't deny the truth.  I tried.  I tried to conform to what those judges wanted.  I tried to listen to my Hollywood idols, my lesbian pastor, my college professor, my hippie parents- who all said that Prop 8 was wrong and would rot my brain.  Still, I found myself keeping the official voter pamphlet under my mattress, and sneaking peaks at the text of Prop 8.  It was so short, so simple, but it was enough to turn me on.  I couldn't sneak around anymore.  I couldn’t live a lie.

Bells went off when I donated money or time or my words or expertise to supporting the passage of a marriage amendment.  In pulling that lever to support Proposition 8, I felt true love.  I felt so happy and free.  I was so alive!

I had come to grips with my sexual orientation.  I am attracted to supporting marriage amendments.

I know that’s not what you wanted to hear.  I didn’t choose to feel this way.  It is how I've always felt.  And since it is my sexual orientation, you have to respect that and allow me to do whatever I need to do to find fulfillment of my desires.  You may find it repulsive or disgusting, or dysfunctional or irrational or just plain wrong.  But please don't judge me or hate me for being who I am.  Perhaps you can get over your Eightophobia by attending meetings of Parents and Friends of Marriage Amendment Supporters?  That would mean so much to me.  If you'd like, I can send over a new book for your kids to read that will help them deal with this: My Uncle Likes Supporting Traditional Marriage.. a Lot.  It is a pop-up book.

Thank you for your understanding and acceptance.  I know that, since this is my sexual orientation, you have to support me in how I feel and can’t criticize me for doing anything that I say is a result of my sexual orientation, nor deny my anything that I say I need because of my sexual orientation.  After all, it is all about love and happiness.

That is why I supported Prop 8.  I had to be true to myself.

Thanks again!

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Why I’m Voting For Obama

There are so many reasons why I’m voting for Obama, and why you should, too.

1. First of all, he’s black.  Isn’t it time we had a black President?  If you don’t vote for Obama, you are probably a racist.  There’s no better way to fight racism than to vote for someone who is black.

2. Obama, like, totally opposed the invasion of Iraq from the start.  The reason why our economy is having problems now is because we invaded Iraq.  Invading Iraq has caused my friends' parents to not be able to afford to pay their mortgages.  Because we invaded Iraq, we have been unable to capture Osama bin Laden, who, by the way, didn’t cause 9/11 anyway.  We all know that that 9/11 was an inside job caused by Dick Cheney.  Because we went into Iraq, thousands of our military men and women have been killed and many more have been wounded.  That isn’t what the military is for.

3. Obama will work through the UN, NATO, and AFL-CIO to talk to other countries to prevent war.  For example, he would have used the UN Security Council to stop Russia from invading Georgia, and threatening Alabama.

4. Obama is for hope and change, and he’s change we can believe in.  I don’t see McCain telling us that he is for hope and change.

5. My union supports Obama.

6. Obama can.  He even says so when he says “Si se puede.”

7. All the cool people are voting for Obama.  So are the dead people.  I’ll bet the dead people know a few things about the future.  At least they do when they talk to that chick on CBS.

8. George Bush stole the elections in 2000 and 2004.

9. Obama’s family was once on food stamps.  While his mother worked on an advanced degree.  So he knows what it is like to be a poor starving student for most of your life.  I want to be a student for a really long time.  I like college.  Great parties.

10. Obama is for fairness.  It’s not fair that some people make more money than me.  Obama will make it fair.

11. McCain is old, and he’s the exact same as Bush.  I don’t want to have an old dude be President, or for things to be like they have been under Bush.  Old white dudes are why things are so messed up.  They're all a bunch of closet racists.  You know they are.  Stupid white men.  Bush is an idiot.  Everyone says so.  He's an idiot who has managed to steal two elections.

12. Sarah Palin is scary.  She believes in her religion.  I mean, talk about a freak.  Why can’t she just put up some angel drawings on her MySpace and be done with it?

13. Obama is going to build the economy from the ground up.  With his bare hands.  He’s going to do it in a way where rich people won’t make any more money, because they’ve made enough money over the last eight years and it isn’t fair.

14. Obama is going to stop global warming.  On Mars, too.  Some of my best friends are from Mars.

15. Obama is going to make sure I can have a nice house, and if I can’t pay for it, that’ll be okay.

16. Obama is going to make sure that health insurance companies take care of me and pay for everything but don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do.

17. Sarah Palin wants to force all of us to have babies.  I don’t want to be forced to have a baby.

18. Obama gives people a second chance.  I mean, why should we not have friends just because they bombed the Pentagon?  Please.  If we were so judgmental about everything, none of us would have friends.

(Disclaimer: For those of you slow on the uptake, I am NOT voting for Obama.  This posting was satire.)

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I Saw 'An American Carol'

You should, too.  I have been a paid movie reviewer, but this isn’t going to be quite like my other reviews, because this is an openly political movie and I’m an openly political blogger.

People go to the movies to have an emotional experience.  That was what I saw an expert on screenwriting demonstrate when he went over the list of history’s top grossing films.  They weren’t all masterpieces in cinema, but the audience had an emotional experience while watching those films in the theater.

"An American Carol" is not a cinematic masterpiece, but it certainly did deliver an emotional experience.  I – like the rest of the audience – was laughing throughout the picture.  I was laughing so hard at times I was crying,

Then there was a sequence that brought tears to my eyes for another reason. 
Jon Voight’s poignant and dead-serious portrayal of President George Washington led into a moment I did not expect.  It was a powerful and solemn moment in a movie that usually gets it point across with over-the-top silliness and slapstick.  Sometimes the film tickles, sometimes it delivers a noogie, and sometimes it swings and connects with a baseball bat.

As you probably know by now, the film plays on A Christmas Carol by having a character spoofing Michael Moore (Michael Malone, as played very well by Kevin Farley) visited first by JFK, then General Patton (Kelsey Grammer doing a bang-up performance through much of the film), President Washington, and the Angel of Death (country music star/Celebrity Apprentice stand-out Trace Adkins).  Through these encounters, Malone learns to appreciate America the need, at times, to go to war, including warring against Islamofascist terrorists.

Not only are we treated to a thorough slapdown (literally) of Moore, but a blistering portrayal of intolerant Leftist college professors, a derisive mocking of mindless mob protestors, a silly send-up of ACLU lawyers, and, of course, a poke to the eyes of terrorists.  Rosie O’Donnell even gets the kick in the rear, as does former President Jimmy Carter.  More importantly, though, our men and women in the military are portrayed as heroic.

I’ve always been a fan of good parody and satire, and David Zucker is one of the kings of bringing that to cinema, usually with a thorough dose of slapstick.  Zucker is in a good position to deliver this film.  Having long been part of the Hollywood game, he’s been steeped in the ideology and tactics of the Left.  However, his villains have often been Soviet Communists, Nazis, and Islamofascist terrorists, and over the years, seeing how the Left has treated Israel and has responded to 9/11, and how the Left has responded to his concerns, he was finally driven to make this film.

Zucker had already opened himself up to vitriol from the Left.  But the various other people part of this project are opening themselves up to all sorts of trouble from their Hollywood peers, and probably a few secretive “way to go!” encouragements from closeted Hollywood patriots.  Lord only knows the grief the extremely talented David Alan Grier is getting for his biting portrayal of a slave in the war-between-the-states-never-happened alternate reality.  Notice that the film is not playing on all that many screens, and was distributed by Vivendi (a minority owner of NBC Universal) instead of one of the major Hollywood studios.

Which brings me back to my suggestion that you go see this film in the theater.  Not only will it enhance your experience to hear strangers laughing along with you, but your dollar-vote will send a message to Hollywood.

Like I said, the film is not a masterpiece.  Some things could have been done better, but that’s true for most films.  I found some of the crude language unnecessary, but it wasn’t pervasive.  I would pay to see this film again, if for no other reason to catch some of the things I must have missed the first time around.  As is typical with Zucker, you have to keep your eyes open for quick sight gags that are often in the background, and the same goes for keeping your ears open for some of the auditory humor.  For example… listen closely for what the goosestepping Nazi soldiers are reciting.

"An American Carol" will not get good reviews from Leftists, who make up most of the Hollywood community.  But it is definitely worth seeing.

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Global Warming a Moral Issue? Really?

It is interesting that the Leftists are calling global warming the big moral issue of our time.

What have we learned from Leftists about moral issues?  Let’s apply their reasoning on moral issues to global warming:

1. Whose morality?  What’s true and right for you may not be for me!  Don’t force your morality on me.  Stay out of my garage.  Stay out of my electrical system.  I like global warming, and you have no right to tell me to stop!

2. People are going to “do it” anyway.  We might as well educate them about how to safely drive gas-guzzlers.  We’ll give them vaccinations, abortions, clean needles, and put condoms on the tailpipes.  That will prevent anything bad from happening and solve the problems.  After all, they prevent anything bad from happening to teenagers, right?  Or maybe we can change the oil for them, give them new brakes and shocks, correct the alignment, and wash the cars.  We want people to be able to drive gas-guzzlers safely.  Get with the twenty-first century.  Kids are going to drive gas-guzzlers anyway – you can’t stop them.

3. Why do you hate my alternative lifestyle?  You claim to have research that says it is harmful, but I can find research that says it isn’t.  I have a right to drive a gas-guzzler.

4. There should be tax funding to make sure poor people can get gas-guzzlers.

5. Don’t like gas-guzzlers?  Don’t drive one!  My vehicle, my choice!

6. You are being bigoted when you mark parking spaces as being for “compact” vehicles, or when you won’t let me drive my gas-guzzler in the HOV lane just because I have a “drive-alone” orientation and do not drive a hybrid.  You are saying my love for gas-guzzlers is inferior.  How dare you judge me and discriminate against me.  I should be able to park in those spaces and drive in those lanes – after all, aren’t I guaranteed equal protection and access?

7. We’re here, we’re BBQing, get used to it!

8. Not only do I have a right to BBQ and drive a gas-guzzler, but if I get cancer as a result, then you should pay for my medical treatments, or you are a bigot.

9. I'm going to organize a parade of mobile BBQs and idling gas-guzzlers and get really, really in your face.

10.  I need a gas-guzzler and to BBQ my food for medical reasons.

All kidding aside, one act of fornication can result in death.  People are dying all over the world due to their fornication. Also, abortion kills at least one human being each time, and can kill the mother as well.  One drug  overdose can result in death.  Growing up in a broken home makes someone more likely to engage in violent criminal activity or get trapped in deadly gang life.  How many people are dying from global warming today?

As for "evangelical" leaders signing on to global warming alarmism - Leftists should not see that as a good sign.  Such people very often "buy high and sell low."  I would take it as a sign that the alarmism has peaked and is on the decline.
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