Posted by
Playful Walrus on Tuesday, August 18, 2009 7:00:00 PM
Sandy Banks has an edition of her column in the Los Angeles Times in which she talks about the murder of six-year-old Dae'von Bailey, found beaten to death in his South [-Central] Los Angeles home.
In the Los Angeles area recently, there have been several high-profile murders of children who have been on the radar of the county government long before they were killed.
Police believe Dae'von was killed by his mother's former boyfriend, Marcas Fisher. Dae'von was living with Fisher because his 28-year-old mother "was going through things" and parceled out her six children to friends and relatives.
That is important to remember. His mother chose to associate with this guy. She chose to leave her child with this guy. She chose to have children in the first place.
In the months before he died, Dae'von told adults at school that Fisher had punched him in the stomach and slammed his head into a bathroom sink. He repeated the complaints to social workers who interviewed him and to medical professionals who examined him for injuries. But he was sent back twice to his violent home.
However the county authorities screwed up - or not - blame falls primarily on the murderer, but also with the person who left the child in the murderer's "care".
But it wasn't only the system that failed Dae'von. "I place the blame on the shoulders of mother Tylette Davis," a West Hills reader wrote in a letter published in The Times. "She chose to have these children, then she chose to abandon them and leave their care to others. I have trouble feeling any pain for Tylette."
The sick joke about the whole thing is that she'll probably sue the county and walk way with six or seven or even eight figures from the taxpayers.
County Supervisor Gloria Molina expressed much the same sentiment at a board meeting last month -- interrupting a speaker's monologue about the "gigantic, enormous problem that's within the system that needs to be rectified."
"Parenting services . . . bus tokens, housing assistance, mental health counseling . . . and constant supervision to maintain her house," Molina said, reading from the list of public services that had been provided to Tylette Davis since before Dae'von was born.
"You need to go back and sit down with this mommy and tell her she has other children to take care of. She has to get her house in order . . . deal with her issues," Molina said.
Kudos to Molina. Molina is the first person to blame county staff when they drop the ball, so these comments should not be taken lightly. The county had been involved and providing assistance. But there's only so much the county government can - or should - do. People show up to yell at the County Board of Supervisors, but what are they doing about people in their own family - their friends - their neighbors?
The columnist checks in with the victim's grandmother...
Her daughter Tylette is not a bad mother, "just spoiled," she said.
This is from a woman who had her own children taken away temporarily. It Tylette isn't a bad mother, I don't know what a bad mother is.
She had her first baby at 14, and five more by the time she was 23.
Now there’s good motherly planning. Of course, any pregnancy she had before age 18 was evidence of statutory rape committed against her. Was that ever pursued?
If only we had...
...the freedom to say "no" to intercourse.
...a dozen different forms of contraception.
..."safe" and legal abortion on demand.
...safe-surrender laws.
...various forms of adoption.
...domestic violence programs and shelters...
...stuff like this wouldn’t happen!
The man accused of killing Dae'von was the father of Tylette's youngest child "and the only daddy Dae-Dae ever knew," Dotson-Davis said. "He raised that child from when he was a baby. My daughter never thought he would bring that boy harm."
Your daughter isn’t very perceptive. This kind of thing is all too common, despite the fact that there are decent stepfathers out there.
She ticks off the things her daughter has to do to get custody of her kids:
Get treatment for addiction. Find a place to live. Come up with a way to support them. Make sure the children get counseling. And, finally, pass those parenting classes.
How about telling other people in the community to avoid this problem by:
1) Staying in school.
2) Going to church.
3) Reading (there are public libraries, if nothing else).
4) Taking up a hobby, sport, instrument, whatever.
5) Avoiding crime.
6) Avoiding substance abuse.
7) Avoiding criminals, substance abusers, and people abusers.
8) Avoiding intercourse until marriage.
9) Getting a job and sticking with it, only quitting when one has secured a better job to replace it. (This will be easier if the previous steps are followed.)
10) Not spending more money than they bring in.
If people follow those steps, situations like the one in this story will be avoided. Dae'von Bailey didn’t have to die.